i’m not going to lie, i’m feeling pretty powerful. about 6 months ago, a bookstore that was significant to my partner and i, went out of business. the place was toppled over with books. they were spilling off of the shelves and stacked to eye level. within the rummaging, i stumbled upon many classic titles and interest driven topics. long story short, like a diamond in the rough, a Barbie book appeared. i haven’t thought of Barbies since i was a child. most contemporarily, Bratz made a resurgence because of the Y2K fashion and makeup trends that are prominent today. they also were created in 2001, following Barbies lead, while focusing on racial diversity, fashion, and cosmetology.
did you know the first black Barbie doll was created in 1980? almost 21 years after introducing Barbie. there were other black dolls, like “talking Christie” but she was only white Barbie’s, friend. in 1980, Barbie herself, was a black woman! Bratz took a different approach, all but one doll, was a WOC.
it didn’t hit me in that moment, but i grabbed it quickly and secured it in my pile. something in me was called forward. not so much as to say “i love Barbie!” but “i know, Barbie” and Barbie is a big deal for a lot of people.
was the Barbie book for me or for the shop? it didn’t matter, i needed it in my possession. it went home amongst the rest of the un dot shop book collection and it didn’t occur to me again. but then,
the movie was announced and i realized oh man, i am in fact a Barbie girl. not only do i need to see this movie, but am i ready to see this movie? the nostalgia was overflowing.
if you know me, you know Nicki Minaj is my muva. Nicki Minaj tapped on the subconscious relationship i had with the dolls. Nicki’s iconic wigs, doll like features and flawless makeup, the literal Barbie branding had me hooked from a place that i hardly recognized, but was clearly deeply apart of me. i still have my Barbie chain. how quickly she replaced and disguised the love i had for the dolls and took hold of that marketing. it was everything i grew up on, but sexy and crazy and fun. right at the time in my teen life, where those were my only values.
Barbie now was Barbz and I was one of them. a true connectedness and confidence. it screams:
“i may not be perfect, but shit i look like it. you hopping in my Barbie convertible or nah…bye Ken! *runs him over* laughs along the way, smashes the car, Ken saves the day* take care of me Ken, i’m sorry i love you. can you take me to my barbie Malibu dream house and nurse me back to health. you can take my barbie jeep”
i was an only child during this time, i had a handle on both sides of the dialogue.
it’s silly, playful, fun, fabulous, animated, girly, and iconic.
at NYC Pride, my partner and i saw the Barbie girls and guys roller blade to choreography and we both were little kids again. we wish we could have gotten one of the fans they were handing out as promo for the movie.
barbie’s were my friends, some of my earliest modes of communication, play, and imagination. and let’s be real, they were high class. Barbie made you dream cause Barbie was not poor, Barbie was not single, Barbie was hot, and Barbie always had friends. you could live through Barbie and make her say and do nonsense. at a certain point in time it goes from lifestyle play, house and family play, relationship play, creative play, to chopping her hair off and making her kiss and hump the other dolls, Ken and his other tan looking friends and just having so much fun hanging onto the last moments of childhood. it’s still playing disguised by the hormones and craziness that adolescence brings. my mom kept collectors item Barbies up on display that instilled a collectors spirit in me that i use today, back then, i just wanted to play with them, today i truly understand their timeless value and cultural history. time really flies.
as my partner has reminded me so somberly of, there came a day where it was all of our last times playing with Barbies or toys at all…my hope is that through un.eg&o, you never lose the kid in you again.
Aijah,
Thank you for this post!!! Ah it resonates with me so much. There is so much nostalgia I have with barbie – mostly because as a little gay kid growing up I would love dressing up the barbie dolls and enjoyed feeling ‘rich’ in that play setting – which barbie sets just provided. We were fortunate enough to have two barbie dolls and a play house and I could just dream away for hours in that setting. Also love that you’re a fellow Barbz!